Okay, I have to get this down before I forget it.
Me: Josh, I asked you to clean the bathroom before the small group Bible Study.
Josh: I did.
Me: I asked you to clean the baseboards and wipe the walls down.
Josh: I did.
Me: I'm looking at dirty baseboards now.
Josh: What are you talking about?
Me: Come down and I'll show you.
He comes down the stairs and I show him what I'm talking about.
Josh (yelling at his siblings): Who keeps pooping on the wall?
Siblings are both yelling back denials. Josh is wetting toilet paper and wiping down the walls. I remind him in a calm voice that I am speaking to him respectfully and I would appreciate the same. And, oh by the way, cleaning the walls with wet toilet paper "isn't going to cut the mustard." And I hear Jonathan laughing in the background, repeating yet another idiom he's just learned.
Josh: I'm not cleaning it because I don't do this.
Me: We don't have chores in the house based upon who does and doesn't do things. I don't wear your clothes or eat your food, but I shop, clean and prepare them for you.
Josh: I want to know who poops on the walls.
Me: They are both denying and it doesn't really matter, because you are still responsible for cleaning the walls anyway.
Josh: It matters so we can tell who ever it is to stop doing it.
Me (turning to all three children): Whoever is pooping on the walls, stop it.
Me (turning to Josh): Okay, I've taken care of it, now clean the bathroom.
* * * * * * * * * *
About halfway through the conversation, I'm laughing and hardly able to speak clearly because the conversation is sublimely ridiculous. Of course, all the kids are now laughing too. I did have to chose to make the conversation ridiculous instead of getting angry at Joshua's teenage behavior. He's been a piece of work lately.
My mom said to me: You know what this is, don't you?"
Me: Yeah, he's a teenager.
My Mom, who had four of her own the last two being teenage twins: This is God's way of preparing you both for his leaving the nest.
Me: Yeah, I know. I already figured this out when he was ten. If he remained cute, cuddly and adorable like when he was a baby, I wouldn't want him to leave. Now, it is all I can do not to kick him out some days.
Scott: My boss, Kurt's oldest son is in his first year of college. He said as he and his wife are returning the son to college, the son is getting uglier and uglier as they get closer and closer to campus. Kurt said he almost pulled over and made him walk the rest of the way.
* * * * * * * * * *
And as the family counselor has reminded me, Josh is an incredibly good kid. Lord help those parents with difficult kids!!!! What doesn't kill us, makes us stronger, right?
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