More Table Conversations

Jonathan: Teacher said we are going to be learning about electricity and magnets in science. She said it will be shocking. Get it shocking? Hahaha!
Me: Yes I get it.

Jonathan: Megan got burned today during the experiment with a battery, light bulb and wire.

Me: Oh. Is she okay?

Jonathan: I told her she wouldn't have anyone at her funeral. She asked how many were going to be at mine. I said, sadly she'd never find out because she will be dead. And that burned her up. Get it? Burned her up.

Me: Yes. Hum? Have you noticed that you and Megan have been in the same class as each other since Kindergarten?

Jonathan: Yes, so?

Me: Does that mean you're going to get married?

Jonathan: NO! Ugh. I think I lost my appetite.

Me: Do you feel that way about all girls or just Megan?

Jonathan: I like someone.

Me: Really? Who?

Jonathan: You know!

Me: I do?

Jonathan: Yes! Just guess.

Me: Okay. Patty?

Jonathan: Yes, for about two years now.

Me: But she lives on our street. You've known her forever. Isn't she like a sister to you?

Jonathan: No.

Me: 

I'm confused. I had a similar conversation with my older son a number of years ago. We have a neighbor girl who is his age and quite lovely. In fact, I wouldn't mind her parents as in-laws. However, Josh makes a face every time I mention Stacy. "Ooo! That would be like marrying my sister!"

* * * * * * * * *

After dinner last night Jonathan and his sleep over friend, Brent, asked if they could leave the dinner table. I said they could.

Jonathan: Come on Brent we can go play that game.

Brent: Wait, we need to clear our dishes and put them in the sink.

Jonathan: Oh, you've got manners. I've never learned mine.

* * * * * * * *

I work at my kitchen table on my laptop. (My husband and very good friend have spent hours unsuccessfully trying to find out why I can't connect to the Internet from my office bedroom.) So when I'm working, my children stand by me, read over my shoulder and ask questions.

Faith: That didn't happen in that order.

Me: No, not in that order. But all these things happened. So I took a little creative license and wrote in an order which would be funniest.

Faith: You have a creative license! Is like Josh's driver's license?

Me: No.

Faith: Well, what is it then?

Me: Well a license is a privilege from some authority to allow you to do something. Some licenses require a test or a fee. For example, Josh had to take a test to drive. Doctors, attorneys, CPAs and others have to take tests to be allowed to do their job. But people can just pay a fee for a fishing license or hunting license.

Faith: Do you have to take a test or pay a fee for creative license?

Me: No, a creative license means people can do things to make writing or art more interesting.

Faith: Yippy! That means I can have a creative license!

Me: Yes! Just like you do when you put stickers on my toilet paper holders.

Faith: Smiles smuggly as her head and neck disappear in between her shoulders.

* * * * * * * * *

Me: Josh, I wrote about Thomas today.

Josh: Let me see.

I get up from my computer and let him sit down. He's chuckling as he's reading the post and then the comments. For those of you who commented early, Thomas came on later and left a comment: 

"haha well posted mom. i appreciate the publicity." and on the on my FB wall "hahahahaah well that was quite a story. I actually didn't remember it well until I read that post. keep me updated! that made my day."

Me: Yes, I can be funny.
Josh: You're not funny. Everyone else is funny. You just write what they say.

I feel like Rodney Dangerfield, "I get no respect."

 * * * * * * * * * 

I received a number of awards this weekend. I decided I would put one at the end of each post this week. The first came from Lynn at Midday Escapades. I don't know about this one... I run a "G" rated site. I'll just keep my  kids off the site a few days. (And Jorge, don't let your parents see this AND don't ask any English speaking people to translate for you!!!! Okay, Jorge? You don't need a Spanish to English translation, trust your American Mom.) But I do appreciate being appreciated. THANK YOU, Lynn!

I Give Good Blog Award

Make a cocktail, pick out some of your favorite bloggers. Send this award to 4 of them. Tell them why you think they give good blog. Well, I'm having my glass of Merlot as I'm thinking about:

• Mama at Mama On The Edge of Autism
• kys at Stir-Fry Awesomeness.
• Alicia (a.k.a. Dr. Mom) at Welcome to My Planet.
• mommy~dearest at The Quirk Factor: Resistance is Futile

All of my award winners are hysterically funny and deserving of this reward. Yeah, ladies, you give good blog.