More Bling for Jonathan's Antics and Mom's storytelling

Since I'm not very interesting when it comes to TMI Thursdays, I thought I'd thank everyone for the awards given to Jonathan and me over the last month.

Lynn at Midday Escapades was in a very generous mood before Christmas and gave me lots of bling.

I want to let Amber of Army Mom's Place , May from Currently on Tour, Cat at Young Old Crone, and Alexis at Running Away? I'll help you pack all pick out an end of the year gift. Just grab your favorite and pass it on. Most of these blogs are fairly new to me and I appreciate my new friends. Please go give them some of your love.

Polly at 5th Sister sent a Heat Felt award my way. Send up your prayers for her and her family, she got some bad news just before Christmas about her brother-in-law. I'm not sure what is going on right now.

I'd like to send this to Shivon at My Brain Wants to Go Home.  This is a brand new blog to me. A mom just finding out her son as autism. I can so relate to where she is. Actually I think she's doing better than I did.

Alisa at Faith Imagined sent me I Heart Your Blog:

I'm sending this award onto Elizabeth at Blest Atheist  . Elizabeth is a very interesting person. I wish I could've lead even part of her adventures.

Adrienzgirl at Think Tank Momma sent me "My Comments are lip smackin' good!" Adrienzgirl is counting down to a year of weight loss and support. I'm on that band wagon. Come join us if you would like to become healthy this year.

I'm sending this one onto Julie at Foursons. Julie is also pretty new to my blog and I to hers. She has four boys, in case you didn't guess. She needs some lady friends. She didn't say that, I'm speaking for her. Hope she doesn't get insulted.

And finally, but not in anyway least, Lee at Headaches, Hotflashes and Hormones sent me her "You Light My Fire" award. Lee is gearing up to dominate the blogsphere. You better get on her good side now.

And finally, and again not least, just trying to get to bed so we can get up and pack Thursday to return home I'm sending this award onto Ortin at Wizards of Ortin.  He's got some great short stories. I need to warn you, he rated yesterday's 'R.' I didn't read because my kids and I are on vacation and they keep trying to see what Mom is doing. However, I love many of his stories. And some of them he writes with other bloggers so you have to go back and forth. But worth the effort.

Now, I'm either going to be packing up the "vacation house," in the car riding home or unpacking at our house today. So, needless to say, I won't be reading and commenting on blogs. But I'll get caught up before the end of the weekend. I have two sentimental posts this weekend celebrating two teenage boys who are very near and dear to Jonathan and me.

If I don't see you before....Have a Happy and safe New Year!!!

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How Do You Pass Time Waiting At Hard Rock?

Will Abby like Joshua's five o'clock shadow?

A child with Asperger's doesn't like restaurants or waiting for food.

What do you do while waiting for your ice cream sundae at Hard Rock Cafe?

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I have a guest post over at Misadventures with Andi. She loves Paris and I went there on my honeymoon. Come reminisce with me about that week over ten years ago.

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Post It Notes Tuesday

Today Jonathan, Faith "Me Too," and I are going to play Post It Notes with Supah Mommy. So, After, you read our notes, grab her button and go to her site to link up with all the other players.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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How A Movie Taught Me About My Son

I'm playing Monday Memoirs Monday with Travis over at I Like to Fish. The fact that he's been mentioned on my blog three days in a row, doesn't mean anything. I just thought his meme works for me today in what I want to share. (Maybe, I can gain some of his fiercely loyal followers?)

Recently, over at Stark Raving Bibliophile, Laughing at Stars reviewed the movie Mozart and the Whale. This movie had an incredible impact upon me and became a significant memory for me.


You can use her link to see her view, but I decided that I wanted to tell you about the movie from my point-of-view. First, the movie is based upon a book written by Jerry Newport. It is supposed to be based upon his life and relationship with his wife. Both grew up in a time before Asperger's Syndrome became widely diagnosed and understood.

In the movie, Donald is a savant when it comes to numbers, but he can't hold down a job. However, he is good at drawing other autistic people into a social club where they can find mutual acceptance. Isabella is also a savant and on the wild side. She and Donald are drawn to each other. The movie shows their difficulties in maintaining a relationship. While not too many reviewers give this movie a top rating, I loved it!! Let me tell you why. 

First, I didn't watch this movie from a critic's point of view. I watched this movie as a mother of a son with Asperger's Syndrome. I watched it three times in a row. (I never watch a movie more than once, let alone three times in a row.) I laughed. I cried. I saw Jonathan in so many ways. I also fell in love with Josh Harnett (who portrayed Donald), but that's beside the point. Even Scott and Joshua saw a lot of Jonathan in Donald.

The movie struck two personal cords with me. First, I've named all three of my children from the Bible and each one has a scripture verse I've prayed since before birth. I've never really understood why the verse for Jonathan leaped off the page at me as "Jonathan's verse." It comes from 1 Samuel 23:16,17 "And Saul's son Jonathan went to David at Horesh and helped him find strength in God. "Don't be afraid," he said. "My father Saul will not lay a hand on you. You will be king over Israel, and I will be second to you. Even my father Saul knows this."

After watching this movie, the verse suddenly made sense to me. In the Bible, the original Jonathan, sought David, who was hiding in caves. Amazingly, Jonathan's father Saul spent many months with an entire army trying to find David, to kill him. Yet Jonathan was able to locate David easily. When Jonathan located David, Jonathan helped encourage David reminding  David of God's promise that David would succeed Saul as King of a united Israel. In other words, Jonathan reminded David not to look at the circumstances surrounding him, but to remember the promise given to him by God. David would not die at the hands of Saul. David would become King of Israel and the Savior would come from his genealogy.

Jerry Newport discovered late in life that he had Asperger's Syndrome. He started a social network for other adults with autism/Asperger's thinking they needed the social connection as much as he did. Jerry went looking for people hiding in their homes and encouraged them that they had a purpose that still needed to be fulfilled. Just like Jonathan reminded David that he still had a purpose yet to be fulfilled.

My Jonathan is a very positive and encouraging young man. I love listening to him use worlds like "Awesome" and "Terrific" when he talks to his friends. I loved watching him "high five" all the other students in a spelling contest. I love watching him console those who "fail" and telling them they'll do better next time. If Jonathan were to grow up like his name sake and like Jerry Newport, I would be very proud. If Jonathan's only contribution to this world was to find people in hiding and encourage them and help them find their purpose, I wouldn't be prouder. And the verse I've prayed for him all his life will be fulfilled.

Second, the movie brought home that despite being a savant when it came to numbers, Jerry Newport couldn't hold down a job. Being amazingly smart is not enough to function in society. Jerry bounced around all kinds of jobs, including drug pusher, taxi driver and elementary school librarian. He didn't have time management skills or people skills to keep a job. This helped me to level my expectations for Jonathan, who is also amazingly smart. However, he also lacks time management skills and personal hygiene. So he might not be able to hold down a job either, despite having the intelligence. Of course, we are working to give him the skills. But I won't be surprised if he has trouble functioning in society because of his weaknesses, now that I've seen this movie.

Do you have a movie or book which had a profound impact on you? I'd love to hear about it.

I don't plan to highlight anything which isn't related to Jonathan, Asperger's, ADHD, Anxiety Disorder or advocacy. Nor do I plan to regularly feature products for sale. If is makes sense or is related to my regular posts, then I'll feature an item. If  you want to know why I'm now an Amazon Associate, please read my Disclosure statement.

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Purple Man's Christmas

Anonymous: You may quote me in your blog. I do have a Twitter Account. It's @Pickletalks. Please email me a link to your post where you quote me. Corrie@mypickletalksautism.com 

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Jonathan created a Purple Man cartoon for a Christmas gift to all our friends in the blogsphere:

Purple Man is the character above asking his sidekick Perfeckto how old he is. Noticed how Jonathan signs his name with a "@" for his "e" at the end of  Howe?

Faith, or as we call her "Me Too," wanted me to put her "Green Girl" on the blog too. Notice how she mimics her older brother...the way he signs the name and having "Green Girl."

Let me try and interpret this for you. Santa comes in over a sleeping Green Girl. He's putting wrapped presents under the tree. He sees a note where Green Girl is asking for a picture of him (Funny since she doesn't know about the icaughtsanta.com opportunity to put Santa by your tree). So before Santa even gets home, the presents are all unwrapped and the Thank You notes sent to his house. He faints. As you can see, Faith is the more detailed artist. Don't you love the 'X' where Santa's eyes should be?

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The Winner is...

I thoroughly enjoyed running a contest to find out the meaning of "Just because my pickle talks doesn't make me an idiot."

First of all, someone asked if we'd ever find out what Jonathan meant. (I'm sorry I can't remember who, I think it was Lynn at Midday Escapades or Deb at Menopausal New Mom, but I might be wrong). Jonathan said this when he was 4 years old and obsessed with pickles, one of the few things he'd eat. Also, he told me that he wanted to be a pickle when he grew up. Jonathan doesn't remember what he meant when he said this.


So, Nancy Campbell at Away We Go was leading until Travis at I Like To Fish mentioned on his blog that he was in this contest. So you'll have to go check out his blog to see what makes his followers so loyal to him. Travis had four entries, the second entry officially won:

"Yeah my pickle talks. What kind of pickle do you have? I bet it's a dill. Yeah, dills are the hardest to understand. I like sweet pickles. They enunciate better."

Nancy Campbell's came in second. Nancy, I'll take you out to CDs Cafe for lunch (just because I can). Jonathan laughed at Nancy's and said, "Close, but no."

"In my world pickles talk; in your world, they are served on burgers. Can't we all just get along?"

Jonathan also liked Busted Kate's at Busted Plumbing, because in his own words, "I am intelligent."

Have we overlooked the obvious here? Perhaps pickles DO actually talk, but only the most intelligent and special among us can hear them.

However, I think the Howe family all agreed that we liked Travis' last statement the best. And Jonathan said this was the closest to what he thinks it means.

I can't be serious about it, because to be honest, I really feel like to him, this statement has so much meaning that it would floor us if we knew the truth. I don't think anyone would ever be able to fully understand it. I think God gave it to him, and I think that it makes sense to him, and I think that's good enough for me.

I liked them all. And I'm so thankful that you all gave me these wonderful interpretations of what could possibly be going on in Jonathan's mind. Some are funny, some a serious, some are thoughtful, some are just weird. All of which I think perfectly describe Jonathan. You, my friends, have studied Jonathan well.

So, without further adieu (I just looked up the meaning of this word, ironically according to Merriam-Webster it means "literally to God.") I bestow the $50 Visa gift card on Travis for his new shoes.

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Merry Christmas

We finally got around to taking the annual Christmas picture in front of the tree. I'm having hard time deciding which one to send out in my New Year's Letter (I don't stress myself to get one out  before Christmas).

Believe it out not, the hardest one to get a good picture of is Faith. This one she's not frowning or looking droppy eyed.

This is Scott's favorite. I like Joshua and Jonathan, and I do like Faith, but I know she's laughing and not smiling.

This is our "goofy" picture this year. It's not as silly as previous years. It was hard getting Johsua in the picture while still showing that Jonathan and Faith are off the ground.

So, which picture should I send out this year?

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Happy Hanukkah,  Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and

Happy New Year!

From Our House to Yours!

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The next time you see Jonathan, he'll be riding his new Tony Hawk skateboard, and probably wearing all Tony Hawk clothes, down to the underwear. Shhh. It's a secret. 

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Proof that Jonathan Does Crafts

Me: Jonathan do you want to go wake Joshua up to help us with the crafts?
Jonathan: Are you kidding? The last time I did it wasn't very pretty.
Joshua comes downstairs five minutes later.
Me: Oh, good, no one has to wake you up.
Joshua: Why didn't anyone want to wake me up?
Me: Because it's like waking a sleeping giant.

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Yesterday was craft day. Today? Cleaning the house, snow removal and wrapping presents and all this before we go listen to Scott sing in tonight's Christmas Eve service. (He's looking forward to the day that he and Jonathan can sing together. I did enjoy them singing 12 Days of Christmas the other night.)

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Joshua started asking in first grade if Santa was real. It was the first year that we were a family. Scott and I decided to handle the question by asking him, "What do you think?" That year he reasoned with himself that Santa was real. The next year he reasoned that Santa was not real.

I'm not sure that Jonathan ever believed. In preschool he asked, us and we asked back, "What do you think?" He said, "How can anyone get down a chimney and back up? How can reindeer fly? Who has every actually seen Santa delivering presents? No, I don't think Santa is real." He was four years old.

Faith still thinks Santa is real, as well as the tooth fairy and Easter bunny. She is in second grade and still stubbornly believes despite her too older brothers telling her otherwise.

How about your kids? When did they first start doubting and how did you handle it?

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Jonathan is tagged

Cara and Jenn at The Momentum of Motherhood tagged us for the Christmas questions. Since I write about Jonathan, I asked him all the questions.

1. Have you started your Christmas shopping?  I don't even go Christmas shopping. Mom does.

2. Tell me about one of your special traditions. Putting up the little village on our fireplace. (You should take a picture of the village)

3. Are you a Black Friday Shopper? Huh?

4. When do you put up your Tree? The first week of December, usually.

5. Do you Travel at Christmas or Stay home? Depends upon what mom and dad decide.

6. What is your funniest Christmas memory? Can't really think of one.

7. What is your favorite Christmas Movie of All time? Alvin and the Chipmunks

8. Do you do your own Christmas Baking, what’s your favorite treat? No, I don't cook (if I did, I'd puke...or everyone who ate it would puke). Christmas cookies

9. Fake or Real Tree? Fay-a-cake.

10. What day (as a mom) does the actual panic set in to get it all done? Huh? I'm just nine, almost ten.

11. Are you still wrapping presents on Christmas Eve? I don't even start on Christmas Eve. I don't wrap my presents.

12. What is your favorite family fun time at Christmas? Digging through paper to get to the presents. Because everyone is sitting on the floor opening presents. Except for dad, he sits on the chair.

13. What Christmas craft do you like the best? I don't do crafts.

14.Christmas music. Yes or No? If yes what is your favorite song? Don't really. Jingle Bells.

15. When do you plan to finish all your shopping? Once, again, I don't shop. Mom does.

Now, Jonathan wants to ask and answer a question:

16) Would you abandoned your favorite Christmas present once it got old? Are you kidding, speak English.

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Football Interest Grows

Jonathan is really into football now. He sat with his dad most of the last couple of days watching football. I'm in the kitchen, on my laptop, not really paying attention to the game, but I can hear both Scott and Jonathan cheering and high fiving each other. I can hear Jonathan asking Scott to explain penalties.


Since school is closed because of the snow, Scott let Jonathan stay up and watch Monday Night football last night. They weren't cheering because they weren't interested in either team, but Jonathan continued to learn the game. At half time Scott asked Jonathan if he was ready for bed. Jonathan was not. Ten minutes later Scott is asking me for the camera.

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Jonathan: I had a nightmare last night.

Me: You did?

Jonathan: Yes, I dreamt I was a cookie and Cookie Monster was trying to eat me. But I rolled away.

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Your Chance To Say What It Means!

Last week I started a contest for your opinion on what Jonathan meant when he said "Just because my pickle talks doesn't make me an idiot." This week is your chance to vote on your favorite. I'm really impressed with all the suggestions. I can honestly say I didn't think of a single one of these. I'm going to leave the poll open all week and announce the winner of a $50 Visa gift card on Saturday. They are all great answers. And I'm glad I'm not making the decision.


5thsister: I believe it means "I think differently from others and, although my approach to life is unique, I will achieve the goals set before me". The reason I say the above is that my son is on the autism spectrum. He definitely has a different way of thinking and approaches life in a unique way that works for him. And he recognizes that fact.

Menopausal New Mom: I think the statement means that just because he is more aware of things and noise around him (i.e. even a pickle talking) doesn't mean there is anything wrong with him (ie marked as an idiot). It's his way of saying that his world is tuned in to a difference frequency than yours but that does not make him an idiot or make his perception of it any less valid or make him wrong.

TeresaOSU: Just because you may not understand my many mannerisms does not make me any less of a human than you :)

Kimi@SoManyKids...: Just because I see the world and the things in it differently than you do doesn't mean I see them the wrong way. Different doesn't ever mean wrong or bad or mistaken.

Mom's Place: I don't know about Jonathan, but my daughter has a hard time expressing things. So maybe it's more along the lines of that. "Just because I can't tell exactly what I mean, and may seem like I am ignoring the situation, doesn't mean that I don't have something to say or don't know what is going on."

Nancy Campbell: "In my world pickles talk; in your world, they are served on burgers. Can't we all just get along?"

Dave: His pickle may not talk but all the bananas do. He's just making an observation that the rest of us don't always see. It's like a cross between "Veggie Tales" and "The Matrix".

Audrey: You're just jealous 'cause I have a talking pickle and you don't! I'm not stupid." *My guess is that it was a reaction to a comment he overheard or one that was directed at him*

adrienzgirl: Children with disabilities are typically highly gifted as well.I believe Jonathan knows he's different, and that sees things differently than the rest of us. But, just because he sees it differently, doesn't mean that seeing is not believing. It doesn't make it wrong, or make him stupid. It just makes him different, and he is o.k. with that. If he is o.k. with it, shouldn't everyone else be?

Missy: When I hear it, I think of a child who lives in his own world, with a vital imagination, but just because a child has an expansive imagination, doesn't mean that he is an idiot and he isn't intelligent.


Life Laugh Latte: I think he was biting into a pickle and it said "ouch" but no one would believe him!

Shell: I think it means "Just because you do not understand my language doesn't make me wrong and you right. We just don't understand each other."
Raoulysgirl:"Sure I may seem different to you...but in my world, I'm normal. Deal with it."

Terena: It makes me think of Sponge Bob. Remember the episode where Sponge Bob rubs to pickles together so they talk to him? Or maybe I'm the only middle-aged mom Sponge Bob fan?

Travis 1): "Hey. My pickle said those things about universal health care, and you can't hold it against ME that it likes Obama. I'm a republican."

Travis 2): "Yeah my pickle talks. What kind of pickle do you have? I bet it's a dill. Yeah, dills are the hardest to understand. I like sweet pickles. They enunciate better."

Travis 3): "You'd be surprised how they feel about the pickling process. According to my pickle, it's a lot like full body enema."

Travis 4): There are three humorous attempts. I can't be serious about it, because to be honest, I really feel like to him, this statement has so much meaning that it would floor us if we knew the truth. I don't think anyone would ever be able to fully understand it. I think God gave it to him, and I think that it makes sense to him, and I think that's good enough for me.

Midday Escapades: "I think Jonathan is saying is just that - just because he is different and sees life through a different lense, it doesn't make him an idiot or less of a person. He is awesome the way he is and even more so because his pickle does talk and ours doesn't!"

Betty Manousos: It makes me think. That's so creative and inventive thought!

Shelly: I think it means something along the lines of"Just because I may take things in and process them differently does not make me any less smart or important then the next person"

Johanna: What Jonathan's words meant is best left to Jonathan's intepretation. You might not get it now, but one day he can tell you, I am sure. There are so many possibilities, many of which have not already been mentioned and some of which us "mere mortals" with NT brains cannot even imagine.

Busted Kate: Have we overlooked the obvious here? Perhaps pickles DO actually talk, but only the most intelligent and special among us can hear them. Joan of Arc once said, How come when I talk to God its called praying... but when God talks back its called crazy? I've learned to never second guess miracles, and if Jonathon says his pickles talk then who am I not to believe him? I think his phrase means, I'm the only person around smart enough to understand what these floating cumcumbers are trying to communicate to us! (Most likely its "more salt please"... but you never know, maybe they have some great insight into how to how to peacefully exit Iraq.)

Shawnda: The pickle is his conscience dressed up as a pickle mascot. A neurtotypical person has an angel on one shoulder telling him to do good, a little devil on their other shoulder telling him to do bad. Aspies have a pickle telling them...just be yourself!

Yaya: I love it. I do. I think he realized at that time that people were saying he was different. He was trying to prove everyone wrong.

Holly: "I approach life differently. Who cares? It doesn't make you better or smarter than me." I also think it would be a great title of a book!

Jess @ Frugal with a Flourish: I think at even that early of an age as much as you knew he was different, he also knew he was different. I think that statement was his way of normalizing the craziness that your whole family was feeling.

blackknightsbrood: Our kids are so literal. Perhaps you misheard him? He may have said, "Just Because My Pickle Talks Doesn't Make Me Inebriate". Inebriate - n. An intoxicated person. He's just sayin' - I'm not tipsy Mom, I've just got a great imagination.

A number of my friends are having a hard time voting. So I took the poll down. Please leave a comment with your choice or send your vote to corrie@mypickletalksautism.com and I'll count it in the tallies on Saturday. Sorry for the trouble. I'll research better polls for the next time. Thanks! (I kept the information of those who voted.)

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More Snow!

I can't think of another time in the ten years we've lived here that we've had this much snow in one weekend. Since I was still "under the weather" I missed getting pictures of the kids sledding down our shared driveway. Scott said Jonathan was out there for an hour on his own and in heaven. "That's one strange kid."

If you saw the picture yesterday of where Joshua parked the car at on the main road, you can see it is quite a distance from our house. We share a private drive with three other homes. From the main road to the point that all four driveways meet, there is about an 45 degree angle on a significant but easy slope to walk, drive. I'd guestimate about 1,000 feet from the top of the main road to the bottom where all four driveways meet. Our driveway is another 1,000 feet about 50-55 degree angle with a much steeper slope. Even well conditioned outdoor working men are puffing by the time the reach the top. As you can imagine, the neighborhood kids are all on our driveway when it snows.

The reason I go into such great detail about our shared driveway, is because Jonathan calls it the "pit of shame." The first time I heard that I laughed hard and long. I'd call it a "pit of shame" too -- had I thought about it first. Jonathan calls it a "pit of shame" because "it's a shame I have to walk up and down instead of being able to walk straight across from the main road."

I'd call it a "pit of shame" because of all the pot holes and water worn trenches we have to drive around. As I said it is a "shared" (and formally used to be) gravel driveway. It's hard to get four home owners to agree on how to maintain the shared part of it.

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Snow!

Snow! This is what I woke up to this morning. The forecast is predicting a blizzard this afternoon.

Scott is working on the first eight inches of snow on the driveway so tomorrow he'll only have to clean off eight more inches instead of 16 inches.

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The school only scheduled a 45 minute meeting for us yesterday, unbeknown to us. Usually the meetings are about two hours. The school team members decided Jonathan did not meet the critera for an IEP. We pulled out our letter, which they copied and rescheduled the meeting to continue Monday at 11:00 a.m.

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I was starting to feel sick before the meeting. I came home from the meeting at 3:30 p.m. and went to bed. I slept until 10:30 p.m. when Josh's phone call woke me up. He was calling to say he was going to park the car on the main street instead of attempting to bring it up our driveway. I went back to sleep until 8:30 a.m. and I'm going to back to sleep.

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Note to Anonymous: I would like to write to you about the error you feel I'm making; however, I'm not sure how to contact you. My email is on my profile if you'd like to carry on a private conversation. 

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Just Need to Think Out Loud

Tomorrow is the meeting to review Jonathan's re-evaluations to determine if he re-qualifies for an Individualized Educational Plan (IEP)based upon the criteria outlined in the federal law Individuals with Disabilities Educational Act (IDEA). Since I have many blogging friends with children at a much different level of functioning, I want to apologize ahead of time for what may seem like complaining. I am more than aware that Jonathan is incredibly blessed, as are we. I think better when I'm typing and reading what I write. This is my way of preparing for tomorrow's meeting.

For those who are not familiar with the alphabet soup of special needs and special education, let me quickly educate you. The federal law mentioned above (IDEA) specifically defines what is "disability" covered by the provisions of this law. It also states two main criteria which must be met in order for a child to receive individualized instruction to re-mediate the disability. Jonathan's Asperger's Syndrome, is a form of autism, which is listed in IDEA as a qualifying disability.

However, in the opinion of the school, Jonathan's disability doesn't always prevent him from "accessing his free appropriate public education" (FAPE). This is a difficult concept for people to understand, especially parents new to special education. I think our attorney did the best job of explaining this to us. He said, "There are two laws which apply to Jonathan's situation. The Civil Rights law makes sure that a person in the wheelchair is not prevented from getting in the building. So the school builds a ramp for the child to get inside the building. IDEA makes sure a child with a disability not only has access to an education but that the child also benefit from that education. A blind or deaf person can access the school building everyday, but not benefiting from the education because they can't see or hear the instruction."

In Jonathan's case, in the opinion of the school (and probably many others), he is obviously benefiting from his education because he is in honors academic courses and making  top grades. All of the testing shows that he's average to very superior in both his intelligence and his ability to perform. He has some kind of charisma so that both peers and adults are drawn to him. He's easy-going, funny, quiet and a people pleaser. In other words, in the school environment he is performing like an average student, he has social skills and he's not a behavior problem. Therefore, it does not appear that his disability is preventing him from benefiting from his free appropriate public education.

Based upon the written reports I'm receiving (current re-evaluations and classroom observations), I'm resigned to the fact that Jonathan probably will not re-qualify for an Individualized Educational Plan. This scares me.

The last time he did not re-qualify for his IEP was between preschool and Kindergarten, a transition year. He changed schools and went from half-day to all day classes. He did not fair the transition well. He hated school. He threw major tantrums all the way to school. He had 38 days of wetting accidents in the school. I was called three times by the vice principal for behavior problems.

Jonathan is a year and a half out from middle school. Another transition year. He'll change schools. He'll change classrooms and teachers every 47 minutes. He'll be around another set of kids because his elementary school is split between two middle schools. He'll take more notes (which we've already seen is a problem). The teachers will expect him to know which books to bring to each class. The teachers will expect him to write down his homework in an assignment book and for him to turn in papers with correctly spelled words and punctuation. He'll have to remember to bring homework to and from school.

As Scott and I talked about it last night, I tried to reason out what would he get in an IEP which will make this transition easier. The truth is I don't know how an IEP might help him out. I think everything that the school will try to do to help him can be accomplished in a "Section 504 Plan" (which is part of the Civil Rights Law).

Under an IEP, he would receive specialized individualized instruction in areas which need remediation. I agree he doesn't need Occupational Therapy for fine motor skills. I agree he doesn't need Speech and Language services at this time for help in pragmatic language or figurative language (for making friends or understanding idioms). I do think he needs help with Executive Function (being able to manage time, follow through on tasks, organize his thoughts) but I'm not sure that individualized instruction is how the school will want to deal with this. I think school generally tries to deal with these issues through accommodations, which a 504 plan will cover.

I guess my heart is heavy and I'm scared because Jonathan is finally having a good year. I think we finally have all the pieces in place this year. I'm afraid that losing a piece just when he's stable will have the same effect as pulling that annoying string which causes the whole outfit to unravel.

But, as I said out loud to my husband and myself, "I may not know what the future holds, but I know the One who holds the future. And He designed Jonathan for a certain purpose and He will make sure that Jonathan has everything he needs to accomplish that purpose."

Thanks for letting me think out loud. Don't know that this helped, but I have one more day to work though this before the meeting.

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I just have to share a couple of ironic and conflicting pieces of information which came out in the testing. First according the the Test of Written Language-4 (TOWL-4), Jonathan is "very superior" to his fourth grade peers. Yet, if you looked at his actual writing, with all the spelling and punctuation errors, I bet "very superior" wouldn't come to mind. Second, the average of Jonathan's subtests on this test show he's "very superior" however the scores on his individual subtests range from 8 "average" to 20 "very superior." He scored the weakest in vocabulary. However, on the Speech and Language evaluations Jonathan also scored from a typical nine year old up to a 16 year old. She has one of his strengths as vocabulary. She says his weakness is in articulating how he knows the answer to the questions he's asked. Apparently, "I just know" or "I told myself" are not acceptable responses.

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Mechanical Bull Pens

I walked into the middle of this conversation last night, I don't know what started it, but here is where I come in:

Faith: What kinda store do you buy a mechanical bull from?

Me: I'd probably look for one on the Internet.

Faith: Will you buy us a mechanical bull?

Me: NO!

Jonathan: Ahhhh, why not?

Me: Because I'm sure they cost in the tens of thousands.

Jonathan: But I want to ride one.

Me: Then go to a bar.

Scott walks into the room

Jonathan: Dad, can you talk mom into buying a mechanical bull?

Scott: No.

Faith: No, ten mechanical bulls.

Me and Scott:

Faith: Do you want to know why I want ten mechanical bulls?

Me: Why?

Faith: I want to put them all outside and have a mechanical bull circus.

Scott: A mechanical bull pen?

 * * * * * * * * *

I "found" this video about autism by a young man with Asperger's Syndrome. It's about 10 minutes, but the time flies. It is a high quality production. (Thanks Mama on the Edge for really finding it and requesting it gets played.)

autism reality from Alex Plank on Vimeo.

 Don't forget that I'm running a contest. Read yesterday's post and tell me what you think Jonathan means when he says, "Just because my pickle talks doesn't make me an idiot." I'll collect answers in the comments through Friday. Next week, you vote on your favorite answers. The winner gets a $50 Visa gift card. Enter as many times as  you have a suggestion. Invite your friends to play along!

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Where Did the Name Come From?

I rewrote my first post since I'm sure most of you have never read it. I explain how our blog

got it's name. 

We were 18 months away from Jonathan starting kindergarten. I was panicked. He refused potty-training. For three and a half years I kept raising my concerns about Jonathan's developmental delays to his pediatrician. The doctor's response, probably because I compared Jonathan's development against Joshua's, "Oh, you had the perfect child first."

The year Jonathan entered public school Kindergarten, the state mandated the school systems have full-day Kindergarten. In my heart I knew Jonathan wouldn't last all day in school without a year of half day school to transition. However, no preschool program would take him because he was not potty trained. I was in a Catch 22.

Scott was still active duty military then, which meant the family was seen at the Naval Base clinic. Although there was a pediatrician on staff, the clinic was crowded. Both Jonathan and Joshua qualified to stay in the pediatric clinic because of chronic health issues. Faith, Scott and I were seen by the "family clinic." One day I was in the family clinic for Faith and had Jonathan with me. I mentioned to the family doctor my concern about Jonathan's delays in development.

She immediately asked me a few questions, administered a few quick evaluations and disappeared. When she returned, she handed me a referral to the closest military hospital which had a Child Development Center. Jonathan was on the waiting list for four months before he was finally seen at Walter Reed Army Hospital. The child pyschologist gave us the diagnosis of Asperger's Syndrome and referred us to "ChildFind" our state's early identification and intervention program under Individuals With Disabilities Educational Act (IDEA)


Back then we didn't know what Asperger's Syndrome meant to Jonathan or our family. And everywhere we turned, we were pointed in a different direction. Finally someone at our church started listening to me. Turns out she was an Occupational Therapist for the local school board. It also turns out that she was assigned to Jonathan's home school. Jonathan did get an IEP but only because my OT friend found he qualified for her services. None of the other special education specialists found Jonathan eligible for their services.

About this time, I cried a lot. We didn't know what we were facing and we weren't getting a lot of support from anywhere. Friends had been telling me for years that Jonathan wasn't different from their kids. "All kids hate their nails cut." "All kids hate their hair washed." "All kids hate noise." True, but not when they are almost four. They tend to out-grow the blood curdling screaming during grooming by then. And I was frustrated with my friends for not giving me credit for having raised one child already and having, Faith, on the other side of Jonathan. She was developing on the same track as her oldest brother. And it was scary that she was looking like she'd develop beyond Jonathan soon.

During this period Jonathan began saying, "Just because my pickle talks doesn't make me an idiot." I don't know what it meant, but I was sure it was profound.

Scott and I went to dinner after one particularly difficult day. I think Jonathan screamed out of control because I put him in on the right side of the van instead of the left side. He only stopped after I drove all the back to the parking lot got him out of the car and put him in on the right side because that was how it was supposed to be done. (Apparently I didn't get the memo.) I was feeling a little low about Jonathan's issues. I dabbed my eyes from some slow falling sad tears, while we were waiting for dessert.

"Doesn't Jonathan's phrase 'just because my pickle talks doesn't make me an idiot' sound like the words to a country song?" I asked my husband.

Without even hesitating, he replied, "No. I think it sounds like the title of a book you're going to write one day about raising a child with Asperger's Syndrome."

How about a blog instead?

I'm curious. What do you think "Just Because My Pickle Talks Doesn't Make Me an Idiot" means? Let's make it a contest. You submit your ideas the rest of this week. Next week you'll vote and I'll announce the winner on Friday. How about a $50 Visa Gift Card? Should be nice around this time of the year. Enter as many times as you have suggestions. And feel free to invite others to participate.

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A Fairy Myth?

I was going through Jonathan's papers the other day and found this: (I cleaned up the spelling for easier reading)

Jack and Jill went on an escapade up the hill to get Levitating water. Jack let go of the pail and watched it go astray. Poseidon got mad and Jill became Jack's alibi. Jack was now notorious to Poseidon and Jill became an enigma. Then Poseidon said, "You, fool,you neglected my water." Jack went to court and Jill became a lawyer.

* * * * * * * * *

Yesterday Jonathan commented on how he missed one of Joshua's goof (I meant "good" but "goof" is still appropriate) friends who went off to college. So I sent a "text" to Thomas stating such. At least that's what I thought. Instead I ended up "tweeting" it, and didn't realize until about four hours later. Don't I feel silly? And I wonder what my 13 Twitter Followers are thinking?

Today's post is unusually short, because I'm still in the process of catching up on reading blogs. It reminds me of the old saying, "One step forward, two steps back." In this case, one blog read, ten more post.
 

Continuing Jonathan and my Circle of Friends:

Holly L at 504 Main, Manic Mommy Meg at Just Another Manic Mommy, May at Currently on Tour, Melinda at Coming Clean: Confessions of an Imperfect Parent, Michele at Finding Trinity: A Mother and Daughter Journey, Missy at Are You There, God?, Nancy at If Evolution Really Worked, Mrs. Bibi at From Misery to Happiness is 365 Days, Nicki at Slow Down, Gym Shoe, ortin at Wizard of Ortin, Rheanna at The Bristol Project, Shawnda at Asperger Syndrome Awareness, Shell at Things I Can't Say, Shelly at The Story of My Life, Sherry at X-Spot Marks the Spot, T. Anne at White Platonic Dreams, Heather at Theta Mom, Traci at 38 and Growing , Travis at I like to Fish, Yaya at Yaya Stuff , Zeemaid at Mommy In the Trenches.

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Guest Post: KSY from Stir-Fry Awesomeness

I apologize in advance for the formatting, promised hubby I'd come to bed before he falls asleep tonight. I'd like to welcome ksy to our home today, please make her feel at home. 

I'm kys and I blog at Stir-Fry Awesomeness.

I took the liberty of interviewing myself in order for Corrie's readers to get to know a little bit about me.

Why Stir-Fry Awesomeness? Honestly, it beats the heck out of me. It's my Rock Band name and my friend picked it  instead of Hillbilly Stew or Snuggle Wasteland. Those were my other choices. Honestly, I like Snuggle Wasteland the best.

What is SFA about? Not much really. I'm a married and I have 2 rambunctious boys.  I complain, er, talk about my family a lot. Sometimes I tell about the stupid things I did when I was younger. Some people might describe me as snarky or sarcastic.

What do you do when you aren't blogging? When is that exactly?  I'm a speech language pathologist who works primarily with preschoolers. My pre-blogging hobbies included sewing, reading, Zumba and anything pop culture related.

The following is a post that I wrote in October. I added a new snippet at the request of my BFF.

I Love My Job

Preschoolers are my favorite age group to work with because I don’t have to worry about them copping a feel or trying to knife me. 


I do have to dodge snot and use my superpowers to anticipate bathroom accidents.


Anyachoo, these little kids are high-larious. They don’t have any concept of privacy and will tell everything to anyone. (Kind of like yours truly.)


Here are a few highlights from my illustrious carreer:



Jacob (4 years old) and I were talking about computers.

Me: Do you play games on your computer?

Jacob: No. We don’t have no puter no more.

Me: Oh, I’m sorry. Maybe you’ll get another one sometime.


Jacob: Well, my daddy was looking at pictures of nekkid cheerleaders on it while mommy was at work. I told him, you better not look at those. Mommy’s not gonna like that. And mommy caught him. And now we don’t have no puter no more.


Kayla, 4 yrs old:

My mommy and daddy dance nekkid in bed. It nas-ee.



Kayla, again:


K: We got a new dog.


Me: Cool! What’s his name?
K: It real name Hero. But daddy call it bitch. We tell him he’s Hero. But daddy keeps yelling “Bitch! Bitch!”


During kindergarten screenings:


Me: A mommy is a woman and a daddy is …….?


Jimmy: Son of a bitch. That’s what mommy says.



My BFF's daughter, Ashley, loves Toy Story. She wants the Buzz and Woody characters for Christmas. But not the plush characters.

BFF: Ashley, what do you want for Christmas?

Ashley: A hard Buzz and a hard Woody.

Thanks, kys! I gave her a day off around Thanksgiving, so she's giving me a day off today. Make sure you go check out her blog for more snark!

I'm also taking a one day break in thanking my Circle of Friends. I'll start back up Monday. Go Navy beat Army! And Go Packers beat Bears! And last, but not least, Go Texas Tech! We're going to the Cotton Bowl!!! (So how many of my friends I'm I gonna lose besides Amber, from the Army Mom's Place?) 

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More Purple Man

I added captions in an attempt to help you read this. Don't you love how in frame three Jonathan has Purple Man walking out of the frame? And in frame six is pitch black to indicate what Perfeckto can see?

I would like to thank some of my very first blogging friends and all my new friends who have been loyal through the last month of technical difficulties. I couldn't find a nice easy way to do this, so I'm going to list about ten of my circle of friend each day until I get through them all. The order they are listed are simply the easiest way I can reach them, not my order of preference.

Jonathan and Corrie's Circle of Friends:

Today's group is still full of snarky with some special needs and a little bit of everything mixed in.

Deborah at Pipecleaner Dreams,
Denise at Together We Save, Elizabeth at moon worn as if it had been a shell,
foursons at Foursons,
Gracie at GraciesBoys,

Helene at I'm Living Proof That God Has a Sense of Humor,
Jeneil at Autism in a Word,
Jenn at Rook no. 17,
JennyMac at Lets have a Cocktail,
Jess at Diary of a Mom,
Jess at Frugal with a Flourish, Judith Ellis at The Being Brand, Kelly at My Voice, My View,
Kim at The Roc Chronicles, KYS at StirFry Awesomeness, Laura at Enjoying the Simple Things, Linda at My Trendy Tykes,
Mama Edge at mama on the edge of autism,
Nancy Campbell at Away We Go,
and Pattie at Listen to My Words with Your Heart

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Who's Responsible?

Recently Jonathan and I went to his weekly counseling visit. About every six weeks I go back and talk with the counselor and Jonathan plays. It was time for one of those visits, I wanted to talk about Jonathan's third fight.

So she started asking Jonathan about these fights.

Counselor: So why did you get in a fight?

Jonathan: He made me mad?

Counselor: Who made you mad?

Jonathan: He made me made.

Counselor: Who made you mad?

Jonathan: He made me mad!

Counselor: No one can make you mad.

Jonathan: Yes they can.

This went back and forth for awhile, then I interjected:

Me: No one can make you do anything.

Jonathan: You can make me do homework.

Counselor: No, you chose to do your homework.

Jonathan: No, mom makes me do it by yelling at me until I do it.

Counselor: No, you decide that you don't want to be yelled at anymore so you choose to do your homework instead of being yelled at.

Jonathan: No she makes me do it.

Counselor: She doesn't make you do it. She could yell all night long and you could still choose not to do it.

Jonathan: Mom can make me do anything except eat chicken.

Counselor: Jonathan, when you let people make you mad, you are giving them power over you. No one can make you mad. You chose to be mad.

Jonathan: Anyone can make me mad. Faith can make me mad. "Nemesis" (the boy who pushes Jonathan's buttons) can make me mad. A random Canadian can make me mad.

I apologize to my Canadian friends. We asked Jonathan where this came from, he said, "Calvin and Hobbs." We asked, if Calvin and Hobbs said this. He said, "Not exactly, Calvin said a 'random Canadian' stole his homework." So you can blame Bill Watterson. But this does remind me of your post yesterday, Tanya. (Go to her site to see yet another example of  how those diagnosed with autism often "echo" or use "scripts" in their language.)

* * * * * * * * *

I would like to thank some of my very first blogging friends and all my new friends who have been loyal through the last month of technical difficulties. I couldn't find a nice easy way to do this, so I'm going to list about ten of my circle of friend each day until I get through them all. The order they are listed are simply the easiest way I can reach them, not my order of preference.

Jonathan and Corrie's Circle of Friends:

Although I'm putting these up from my Google contacts account, I'm amazed at how diverse this group is. I have old, new and in between friends. And the blogs range from snarky to faith with a little bit of everything in between.

MODG at Martinis or Diaper Genies, Adrienzgirl at Think Tank Momma, Alexis at Running Away: I'll help you pack, Alisa at Faith Imagined, Amber at Army Mom's Place, Andi at Misadventures with Andi, Audrey at Divine Graffiti, Audrey at Audrey's Spot for Recipe Tips and Hints, Brian Miller at waystationone, Carrie at For the Record, Christi at Who Has The Thyme, Christina at Sanctified Together and Cinda at Cinda.
Okay, friends, I had to list and link these four times because I kept getting an error message. I now know most of your URLs by heart! Hope you enjoy your status as my friends as it truly became a labor of love. :-)

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