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Memoir Mondays - Blanket Wars
Brian Miller, you have won the 18x24 digital poster from Online Poster Printing.com. They will be contacting you about how you can collect your prize. Congratulations, your name was mixed up with eleven others and drawn by my daughter.
It's Monday! As a brain-washed cult membe, I'm dutifully obeying Travis and posting a true story, displaying his new button and inviting ya'll to join us. ('Ya'll' because he's from Oklahoma and I'm from Texas.)
The only on going battle in our marriage is over blankets. I'm a night owl. I read a couple of different studies a number of years ago about sleep. One study indicated people who are morning people sleep their heaviest when they first fall asleep. Those who are night owls, sleep their heaviest in the morning hours just before they wake up. This proves to be true in our house. My husband can decide he's going to fall asleep and then he's out. (I hate him for this trick.) About three o'clock a.m. he's mostly awake waiting for the alarm to go off.
On the other hand, I lie awake for hours and sleep like a rock between four a.m. and eight a.m. The other study showed when people are sleeping their heaviest also have their lowest body temperature of the night. My husband crawls into bed and cocoons himself because he's cold. Whereas, I am warm and just have a sheet over myself first thing at night. However, around four o'clock in the morning I'm shivering. So, I pile all my blankets in the middle of the bed and just keep a sheet. I get really upset at four a.m. and I've finally fallen asleep only to wake up shivering. I reach to the middle of the bed and my blankets are gone.
Me: You took all the blankets in the middle of the night again.
Scott: I didn't take them, you gave them to me.
Me: I didn't give them to you, I put them in the middle of the bed and I expect them to be there when I retrieve them.
Scott: Well, that's not how it works. If they are in the middle of the bed they are fair game.
Me: Okay, I'm not getting my point across. Let me try this a different way. The middle of the bed is like a savings bank. When I don't need my blankets, I deposit them in the middle of the bed for safe keeping. When I need them, I go to withdraw them and I expect them to be there.
Scott: Yes, I use the middle of the bed like a bank too. I use the money deposited in the bank by other people. Nobody actually gets the same money they deposited back out of the bank.
Do you have on-going battles which are more funny than angry?
22 comments:
Hilarious exchange! Sounds like the conversations I have with mine. Our blanket thing is opposite. I pile them in the middle because Im hot, and he complains because they are in his way, because he is hot too. Too funny. Thanks for sharing.
LOL!!
YES YES YES!! We were never able to compromise with the covers, so guess what? We each have our own blanket! Yes, as ridiculous as that sounds, we each have a blanket, and the fighting has stopped. It was horrible. I would elbow him, he would push me, we would argue right in the middle of the night--with no MAKE UP SEX, mind you...so it sucked.
Our issue is having the blankets pulled off, despite having bought HUGE blankets he is stronger and turns more often. I then end up sleeping in the middle of the bed, following the blankets. Disaster area! I like LMJ's idea, a sensible solution:) Jen.
We have to use 3 blankets at any given time on our bed.
I use one, sometimes half.
The other times I'm just mostly cold.
too damn funny...and familiar too!! We bought one of those electric heated mattress pads..each of us has a control which makes our side of the bed to our liking. This is nice cuz his can be cooler than mine or vice versa...the only problem is the 3 year old that crawls in a takes over EVERYTHING!! That's a whole other story!!
I got tired of fighting for the blankets. I divorced the bank!
Oh, You're so funny Corrie.
I'm not going to take sides because it's really too, too...something.
LMJ has the right idea. Get your own blankets and don't keep them in the middle of the bed which really does mean they are fair game. But, I'm not taking sides, just stating fact.
Our disputes aren't disputes because she doesn't listen. I ask her to do or not do something.
In one ear, out the other.
I've given up.
That makes all the sense in the world! And it is very true in our house. I'm the early to bed morning person who wants to snuggle down deep when I first climb in. Hubs is the night owl who sleeps like a rock in early morning hours. He's ALWAYS hot when first going to bed but steals all the covers in the wee hours (usually while I'm up with the kiddo).
Hahaha. That is hilarious.
By the way- I do the exact same thing with my blankets. I'm hot when I first lay down and then I'm needing those blankets in the wee hours of the morning.
Well, our exchanges aren't that amusing. I don't really consider this a battle but my hubby gets 5% of our king side bed and I require the rest.
Very interesting statistics you have there. I must be a night owl like you.
Ha! He had a great comeback there. Hard to argue with that one in this economy!
1st...I love your comment on our blog. That song touches me too, I never thought about it with that spin. But, you are so right. Did you see Green Mile? A movie several years back where a man is able to see through the exterior to what/who a person really is. I had similar thoughts about that. Blankets...yeah that is a tough one since both of you are asleep...hard to point fingers isn't it?! HOlly
I learned something new...didn't know that about deep sleep.
Ok I have this whole thing worked out.. Hubby is usually the one who tosses blankets off when he first goes to bed. I on the other hand have them snuggled around me like a cocoon. by middle of the night he is rolling pulling blankets, I am having hot flashes and tossing them off..
MY issue is the way he sprawls all out over the bed with my pillows under his head the whole shebang,, not pretty let me tell you lol..
oh yes - so so funny :)
I can relate to this battle. I like my own blanket most of the time. It's too exhausting fighting for "territory" at night.
This is funny in a lot of ways.
That's so funny- I'll wake up in the middle of the night and my blankets will be on the floor, so I guess I have blanket wars with myself!
Funny - and informative! I didn't know that about night people having their deepest sleep in the morning hours before they wake. No wonder it's always been so hard to drag myself out of bed!
That has got to be one of the funniest "arguments" I've heard!! I thought you made a good point comparing the sheets to a bank account but then your husband also made a good point!!
We don't argue over sheets but we do argue over the remote controls for the tv. I always make sure to put them back where they belong but Tim carries them all over the house with him so I can never find them. I mean, how hard it is to put them back on the shelf where they belong?
LOL
This is hilarious! This is totally how it goes in our house at night too. I'm glad we are not the only ones.
That is too funny and I felt like I was reading about my own house. Could it be this is the great debate?
This cracks me up because although I have not had this particular argument I've had very similar ones. My husband ends up with all the blankets on his side because he hogs them, he says it's because I push them to him.
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