Spring Break at Busch Gardens Williamsburg

I know it is Spring time when I drive up my driveway and see purple flowers blooming from my vinca minor. How can I be so in love with a small purple bloom from wild ground cover? I don't know, but my dream is to have it growing down both sides of my driveway someday in future. Although it grows wild once it is planted, I have to harvest it from my mom's neighborhood and plant it one vine at a time.

When I see this in my yard, I know it is also time for our annual Spring Break to Busch Gardens Williamsburg, Virginia. This year we are staying in the Presidential unit of our timeshare property. Scott and I are the only ones sharing a bedroom and bathroom. The kids each have their own bedroom, bathroom and flat screen TV. Josh will probably get the second master bath with the jacuzzi tub, but he knows he has to share the tub with the other two. It will be so decadent - we have two balconies.

If you see this same post up for the next eight days, don't be surprised. Just know that I'll be doing this:

or on the side of the pool watching this:

or outside of the rides watching this:

This year I will have this:

So, while I'm not riding the rides with my family at Busch Gardens, I could be reading and commenting on all your blog! Then everyone (me) will be happy for a change at Busch Gardens. Of course, I'm much slower on this tiny keyboard than on my regular keyboard so it will take me three times as long to comment. ;-)

I'll be back in about eight days! Hope everyone is enjoying their Spring weather - if you are getting it.

Read more...

Homework Battles and Campaigning

The last two weeks Jonathan didn't have homework because Maryland public schools administer the Maryland State Assessments (MSA) - you know, the report cards on how well the teachers and schools are teaching our children.

Jonathan: We don't have homework the next two weeks because of MSAs.
Me: This is yet another proof that God is good!
Jonathan: What!?!? God doesn't give MSAs!
Me: No, not directly, but Who is ultimately in control of all things?
Jonathan: Touché
Where does he get his words?

* * * * * * * * *

The two week reprieve on homework is now past. And Mom is hating life. Between holidays, snow days and MSAs, Jonathan has not had a routine of homework. I'm not ready to fight this week knowing I'll be fighting again in two weeks - after a week off for Spring Break.

Me: "Fine. I'll email Ms. Gheen and tell her that you are not going to do homework."

Jonathan:(Is half way up the stairs to play his PS2.)

Me: I guess you won't be getting those straight A's that you wanted.

Jonathan: (Stopped in the middle of the stairs.) "What do you mean, it's just two assignments?"

Me: And tomorrow it will be two more and those zeros start adding up and your grade goes from A to B.

Jonathan: Drags himself back to the kitchen table. "Fine! I'll do it, but I won't like it!"

* * * * * * * * *

Ironically, today I interviewed a local candidate for sheriff who reminds me of my former boss, Mike, (see previous post). If you've been following me lately you know I plan to launch a blog for my local area in which I feature the local men and women behind the jobs. My goal is to have five stories about locals already on the blog when I "go live." Although I like the incumbent sheriff, I'm really excited to hear about Brian Smith's ideas for law enforcement in our county.

Brian and I have read a lot of the same books and studies about managing change and streamlining processes. As he was talking about collecting data and using the data to deploy resources, looking at the current 12 hour sheriff deputy schedule and making the process for filing complaints easier for the citizens, I could hear Mike's motto in my head, "If we take care of the customer, take care of the financials (data) and take care of the employee, the business will take care of itself."

Brian is an underdog in this election. He'll be running against an incumbent, who is well financed, well known and well liked. Furthermore the county citizens feel safe. Why change? That was my thought when Brian first announced his candidacy. 

If you read about Mike, you'll probably guess I'd follow anyone like him to the ends of the earth - or at least a campaign trial. Likewise, if you've read my blog for awhile, you've probably figured out I'm a sucker for the underdog. Needless to say, my brain is already thinking about all the ways my writing skills might help him.

Read more...

I'm participating with Travis, at I Like To Fish, in his Memoir Monday. The only rule that I know about is that your story has to be true. So come join the growing number of people caught in Travis' "net of discussion."



Back when I worked for a company (as opposed to work for my family or myself), I had an incredible opportunity to work for my hero. I will treasure those two years for the rest of my life. However, when I first met him, hero wasn't the word that came to mind. Jerk was more like it.


I'll try to make the introduction short, because I have too much to say. When I first began working as an entry level auto claims adjuster, I heard legendary tales about Mike. Many of the people in my office worked with Mike when he first started his career in the company. He was a shooting star in the company - not shooting as in falling out of the sky - but as in being catapulted into executive management ranks at record speeds. He didn't stay in the regional offices very  long before he was pulled into the home office in San Antonio, Texas. After I worked at the company six years, I had an opportunity to work on a special project in the home office. It wasn't but a few months before I ended up on a team with the infamous Mike.



I was a 90 day employee on this project that Mike's team had been working on for the prior two years. I was from the regional office. I was a lowly claims adjuster with six years of experience compared to the members of Mike's handpicked team of managers and claims examiners with dozens of years of experience. I didn't know my place. I spoke all the time. I'd argue passionately for or against the rest of the team. At the end of my 90 days, another manager got my stay extended 90 more days. Mike fought her. He didn't want me on the team. But she won. Then she took a promotion days before the new project began. Guess who was my new boss.

Mike is six foot two to my five foot one. He prematurely grayed. His eyes are steel blue -they could be hard and cut you in two. He has a sharp wit. He is brilliant. He's either loved or hated - there was no in between. I'm hoping my words are drawing this imposing and intimidating package. I didn't care for him before I suddenly found myself working for him. And I knew from my previous manager, he didn't want me. 


The first ninety days, I'd left Joshua with my parents in Virginia. The second ninety days, I tried to find a way to bring him out to Texas. Our team had gone out to lunch one day. When we returned I couldn't get back into the building because I'd forgotten my badge. I was standing on one side of the turn style waiting for security to check my employment status, Mike paced on the other side of the turn style with his arms crossed over his chest one. When security buzzed me in, Mike silently turned and walked ahead of me to the office. About an hour later he came over to my desk and handed me a piece of paper, "Call this number, ask for Linda. Tell her Mike already talked to her."


Turns out that Mike had overheard my conversation with co-workers about trying to find daycare for Joshua. The company had daycare on site, but it also had a waiting list. Somehow Mike got Josh in the daycare. From that day forward I knew his "jerk" persona was carefully affected and projected.


I don't want this post to be too long, but it's hard to write about what an amazing guy Mike was (and is) as a manager and friend. He took me under his wing as an employee. Whatever I wanted or needed, he'd move heaven and earth to get. He became my mentor and my champion. First, he got me another six month extension on the project. He got the company to move me into an apartment instead of remaining in a hotel. In the two hears I worked for him, but salary increased by $20K.

After a year of being on this temporary project, the company decided to shut it down; however, they weren't sure what to do with the employees. We sat around for weeks while they decided what they wanted to do with us. I was bored out of my mind. We worked four 10 hour days. I couldn't take any more of the ten hours sitting around talking to the other team members worried about what would happen to us. So I went to Mike and said, "You've got to put me back on the floor in claims."

So he arranged to loan me to his old claims unit. I was cheeky. I told the claims manager how I'd work for him instead of letting him tell me what he wanted. I convinced him the best use of my skills was to allow me to float between all his claims adjusters and work their files instead of making me take new claims. The two months I was down there, I helped his unit close 400 claims files (which is a lot). When I told Mike that I wanted to move to Texas, Mike once again wheeled and dealed and got me a permanent job at the home office. It was a complicated deal and in the end his old unit hired me and then turned around and loaned me back to Mike. Our project was shut down, Mike found homes for all his team members and created a new job for me. I worked directly with him in his new position as District Manager over all the insurance business in Oklahoma.

He didn't really know what he wanted me to do, so we made things up as we went along. It was rough for me at first because I still carried a lowly claims adjuster title, but Mike elevated me to the same level as all his managers. The managers, with two and three decades of experience, didn't like this at first. When I lamented the managers' ruffled feathers to Mike one day, he said, "You'll win them over." I asked how. He said, "Just be yourself." Eventually I did win them over. So much so that they started coming to me because they were afraid of Mike. (Remember his carefully affected "jerk" persona?)

I guess Mike and I had been working together about a year and a half by then. He was my manager, my friend and become like an older brother to me. I was in Texas alone with Joshua. His family adopted me and invited me over for dinner and holidays. He was really upset with me when I didn't call him when my house caught on fire one night and I was left without a place to stay. I told him, "I did call you, but you didn't pick up."

After we'd been working together in the new unit for several months he became upset when he figured out that the managers where afraid of him. He asked me what he needed to do differently. I said something along the lines of "Mike, you are so tall, you walk through the unit with big strides, your mind is always working and your face reflects an intensity. Why don't you try slowing down as you walk through the  unit on the way to your desk, and greet everyone by name as you come in?" Mike, who was distressed, suddenly and slowly broke into a sheepish grin. "In other words stop being a Son of a Bitch." I was appalled. "I didn't say that!" He continued to grin, "No, you're much to nice to say it." But the next day, he started walking slower and greeting everyone. And eventually they stopped coming to me and went directly to him.

Mike wasn't just protective of me. He was a mother bear with all his employees. You didn't want to mess with Mike's employees. You could mess with Mike all  you wanted, but not one of his employees. When I hardly knew him (back when I still believed he was a jerk), he and another high ranking manager got into an argument about something. I don't recall what, but had to do with the fact that Mike felt like the other manager was jerking his team members around. Mike dismissed us from a meeting. However, the conference room was all glass and our office was like a fish bowl. So even though we could only hear muffled conversation, we could see a very animate and red-faced Mike in the room. About a year after that, when I knew Mike better, I spoke of that day. "I thought you were going to hit him." Mike said, "I thought I was going to hit him."

So there was an incident between an employee from another unit and Mike's employee. The other employee had made Mike's employee cry. Mike and I were sitting at his desk bantering when a manager interrupted us to tell Mike what happened. Mike was immediately on his feet and took his long strides over to that employee. It was far enough away that we couldn't hear what was being said. But because we had an open office and because Mike is an imposing figure, two hundred employees watched an animated Mike. When he was done, he strode back to his desk and sat down across from me with a look of smug triumph on his face.

"Do you think that was an appropriate way to handle this?" I asked him quietly. Mike's eyes narrowed at me, His face turned to defiance, "Yes. Why? What was wrong with it?" I shrugged nonchalantly and asked, "Isn't the proper protocol for you to take your concerns to Joe, who would then address the employee?"  Some of the smug triumph started to fade from his face, "I hired that guy. In fact he owes me for his job because he was hanging by a thread for awhile." I nodded and said, "Hmmm." Again he challenged me. Again, I quietly asked, "What if Don came directly to me and dressed me down?" Mike got his mother bear look, "He wouldn't dare!" I said, "That's what I thought." The smug look disappeared and we never spoke of this again.

I could go on and on, but the last thing I want to say is that I'd still be working for Mike to this day; however, he was an incredibly wise manager/mentor. Four or five months after I started working directly for him, he started suggesting I apply for manager positions. I just laughed at him. I was still trying to figure out how to do my job for him, which he never actually defined. How could I start looking for another job? Each time a management position went up, he'd push me a little harder, "Why didn't you apply for that management job?" I'd say, "Do you really think I'm ready?" He'd say, "It doesn't matter what I think, it matters what you believe about yourself." After working for him for nine months he sat me down, "You've learned all that you can from me, It's time you find another job." I looked at him, "Are you kicking me out of the nest?" He said, "With my size 13 shoe."

We became friends during my time in Texas. He brought his family out for my wedding. His daughter was my flower girl. We used to get together one day a summer because his extended family lives on the east coast. We still talk and write a few times a year. He continues to advance in the company. He's done miraculous things there. And he's still either loved or hated by all - nothing in between.

Read more...

Is It The Autism, Sibling Rivalry or Both?

I woke up this morning to screaming rounds of "Jonathan, give me back my phone!" Faith came upstairs to tell me Jonathan took her favorite phone. I had her send him up. He came up. I asked him to give the phone back, "No. I don't want to." This became a circular conversation. At least he was honest.

Last week a quite conversation between husband and wife was disrupted by a hysterical Faith who was so upset it took awhile to get her to calm. "Jonathan keeps calling my friends 'its'! My friends aren't 'its' they are people!" When they were toddlers we'd pull Jonathan off a crying Faith telling him she didn't like being sat on. His confident response was always, "Yes, she does like it."


One of the main communication issues with Asperger's Syndrome is that those diagnosed with it cannot read and interpret facial expressions or tone of voices. In other words, they can't tell from non verbal cues that someone is mad, upset, offended or hurt by something they might have said. Jonathan has Asperger's Syndrome; however, he is also high functioning even within the range of those with Asperger's Syndrome. When his speech teacher holds up different facial expressions he can tell her what the emotion is. However, he's also so bright that he can remember anything he's seen before. Is he telling her the emotion because he recognizes the emotion or because he's memorized the card? His issues are further complicated by the fact that he can do things in clinical settings but not transfer the same skills to real life.

However, let's  be real. He's smart and he's an older brother. Most of the time I think he knows exactly he's doing when he's taunting his little sister - it's fun. In fact, he'll usually admit this. There are some occasional occurrences when I believe he doesn't have a clue what he's doing. Poor Faith usually suffers the consequences. Only recently does she have any kind of understanding that he's not always being mean just to be mean. She has a classmate with Asperger's Syndrome who is lower functioning that Jonathan. She's learned not to get angry at this classmate when he steps on her or does annoying things to get her attention. Instead, she points out better ways of getting her attention. She also advocates for him when his clumsiness (unaware of personal space) causes his classmates to get upset with him. She'll tell them that he didn't mean it he just has difficulty with understanding personal space. (I'm sure she says something more appropriate to an eight year old.)

Later this morning I came out of the shower with Jonathan screaming a round of "Josh, give it back!" So on the other end, I have a teenager, who should know better (at least in my own estimation) but picks on his younger brother. Why? Why? Why? I'm sure you parents are asking the same question. Why is it fun to get your siblings upset which in turn causes your parents to get upset?

There are times when I realize that even though I believe Joshua is old enough and smart enough to understand Jonathan is different maybe I'm expecting too much from him. All Jonathan's life he makes a certain noise that sounds like a short 'a' when he's "being Aspie" (or operating more out of his autism than out of his typical personality). If Jonathan is over simulated by sensory input (noise, light, temperature, clothes, etc.) he doesn't want to be touched. He'll warn you by the 'a' noise. So I don't know why Joshua continues to rough house, tease or talk Jonathan into doing something he doesn't want to do. Inevitably Josh continues, Jonathan has the autistic meltdown and Josh acts shocked. I'm ready to tar and feather Joshua, but I'm too busy trying to deescalate Jonathan.

How much of Joshua's actions stem from feeling neglected? He often makes it a point of telling us Jonathan gets all the attention and never gets in trouble. The truth is that Jonathan does take more attention than both Joshua and Faith; however, neither of the other children is lacking anything. But it is hard for children and young adults to see that quality, quantity and type of attention look different for each child. (Heck, I was in my forties with three children of my own before I understood why my parents treated me differently than my three younger brothers.) Josh doesn't see the huge sacrifice it is for us to sit in the soccer stands for all of his games. We love being there, but it's exhausting fighting Jonathan who doesn't want to be there. Nor does Joshua see that he lived high on the hog for seven and a half years before siblings came along. (Or maybe he does and this is why he's upset.)


Disclaimer: I'm not whining here. Even though it is aggravating at the moment, in the end Scott and I can often look at each other and laugh. We laugh as we are pulling a three and a half year old Jonathan off an 18 month old screaming Faith. Jonathan is earnestly trying to convince us that she really likes being tortured.

I chuckled when we finally got Faith calmed down and out of the room after Jonathan called her friends' "its." I said to Scott, "This just goes to show you the difference in their personalities. Faith is relational oriented so people are people and not "its." People are the end. Jonathan is going to be task oriented, so people are "its" - a means to his end - getting his tasks done."


The autism in our house is what it is. We just continue to grow and understand it, to explain it to everyone as best we can and to try to live with a sense of humor about it. We have have no other choice. Otherwise, we'd be angry, upset and stressed all the time. And who wants to live that way?

Read more...

Thursday Tackle - First Local Business Story

For my Thursday Tackle this week, I decided to "show off" my first article about a local business. For those not keeping up with my newest adventure, I'm in the process of setting up another blog strictly to "write local stories one business at a time." I would love constructive input on this. My husband called it "folksy" which was my intention. My thought is that people are more willing to do business with people they know. So I'm trying to write about the people behind the businesses here locally.

* * * * * * * * * *

I spent an hour with Bobby Unkle owner of JBM & Sons Excavating, LLC. We met at the Lusby Dunkin Donut on a wet Friday morning. Bad weather days are the best days for Bobby to catch up on his office tasks and network with other businesses. Good weather days he's out from sun up 'til sun down grading parking lots, building horse riding arenas and rip rapping shorelines.

Humble and pride, not two phrases one normally associates together; however, these are the two impressions I carried as I walked away from the meeting. Bobby didn't want to talk about himself, but he did want to get his business name out to those living and working in Southern Maryland.

The first few minutes of the meeting were a little awkward. Two introverts trying to help one another out. I put on my reporter personality and began asking questions. It was difficult at first because I don't know enough about excavating to ask intelligent questions. After a few faulters, Bobby said, "I guess I should make this easier for you." I think I put him on the spot by asking if I could write about him. He seemed uncomfortable opening up and talking about himself and his business.

"Come across any dead bodies in your job?" I asked.
"No."
"Have you had to stop your job to relocate any bunny dens?"
"No. Well. Not that you'd want to hear about. I usually come across them too late," he smiles shyly.
Okay, moving on.

What Bobby has come across is entire cars buried about forty years ago before landfills were available. He collects shells, whale bones and old bottles he's come across during his 33 plus years of excavating. He's given some to the local Calvert Marine Museum and some he's kept to display at home in glass cases.

Early years had him working on a farm in St. Mary's county with his father and uncles. They didn't own the farm, but they did work it, growing tobacco, corn, soy and taking care of a few cattle. In the winter he was a waterman pulling up crabs and oysters. When he was about 18 years old and working at a gas station for $2 an hour he heard  he could be making $4 an hour working construction. So he got his first job in St. Mary's watching fires at night. During the day crews cleared trees, piled them and began burning them. During those nights, watching as many as 10 burning fires at a time, Bobby started driving the equipment left on the site. He didn't have permission and one morning his supervisor caught him driving a piece of equipment.

"He told me to stay in the vehicle. I guess that was my punishment. A promotion," Bobby chuckled.

Exactly seven years ago, Bobby started his own excavating business. He's proud to say that he started it without borrowing. He purchased his equipment while he continued working for a contractor. In the evenings and on the weekends he would perform jobs for his own company. His first job took a weekend to re-enforce a shoreline for a local Solomon's business.

While JBM and Son's Excavating will do a number of jobs, Bobby's favorites include wide open spaces and horse riding arenas. He estimates he's built or rebuilt over 1,000 arenas over the years. His job sites have extended past Calvert, St. Mary's and Charles County into Anne Arundel and Montgomery counties.

One of the things which first impressed me about Bobby, is the day that I met him and mentioned my shared driveway needed repairs from the blizzard damage, he drove by and looked at it. He called the next day with the best price I've received in a decade for fixing our issues.

* * * * * * * * * *

I was not paid to write this feature about Bobby's company.

JBM & Sons Excavating, LLC  

"We Do It All"

 commercial and residential

Grading...Clearing...Rip Rap...Seawalls...Roads...Ponds...Building Pads...Ditches...Pools

Call: 443-532-4035

email: bobby@jbmexcavating.com?subject=Information Request

Website: www.jbmexcavating.com

Read more...

I Didn't Stop Following You -No Matter What It Looks Like!

Did I get your attention with my title today? Or did I get your attention when it looked like I stopped following you today?


Let me tell you what's going on in my real life the last couple of weeks. Hopefully it will explain everything to your satisfaction. I blogged last week about trying to get a signature loan from the bank because I wanted some start up money to go into business for myself. I did get the loan, with my husband co-signing (I feel so identity-less). And now I'm in the process of splitting myself into to identities. I will remain the person I've been the last decade - Scott's wife, Joshua, Jonathan and Faith's mom, so and so's neighbor, so and so's daughter, etc. I'm fine with this. I'm proud to be Scott's wife, Joshua, Jonathan, and Faith's Mom and so and so's daughter. And I will continue with this identity.


My second identity is as president, owner and CEO of Corrin M. Howe, L.L.C. I'm really excited about this new identity. For the past two months I have actually left my house and started meeting a number of fascinating people who live and work in my community. I plan to combine my love of writing with my love of advocating for others. I'm planning on blogging about the local small business owners here in Southern Maryland. For example, I sat down and spoke to Bobby Unkle for an hour last week. He and I both hope he will one day fix my shared driveway. (At the moment we have one neighbor who thinks he wants to do something different with the road.; however, he hasn't called anyone out for an estimate.)


I walked away from my meeting with Bobby with two impressions, humble and pride. Humble came to mind because it took awhile to draw him out; however, once I did, I could tell he had a lot of pride in what he's accomplished in his excavating business. This week I'm talking to Tracey Eno of Pre-Paid Legal Services. The little bit of research I've done into her company is fascinating. Wow, what a concept to be able to pay a monthly flat fee and know my family can have an attorney when needed. I also like the idea that her company  monitors my personal identity for fraud. Unlike most companies, her's not only watches my identity but it will actually clear up any theft of my identity and follow through on convicting the person who stole it!


By splitting my identities into two, I needed to organize myself or else go crazy. So I started a new Google Account under my corporation name. I unfollowed many of the blogs I follow and moved them the my new Google account. One Google account I'm keeping for my hobby of blogging and one I'll have for my business of writing and blogging. The blogs I feel fit better into my business writing and research, I moved over Corrin M. Howe, L.L.C. I'm using my same profile picture. I hope by having two separate accounts, I can keep up with reading and commenting on all my favorite blogs. I hope to have a better system in place than I've been using lately.


I can already tell you I feel much better fowarding half my email to the other account. Now both email accounts look and feel manageable. I can actually see what needs to be handled immediately and what can wait for a little bit. If you feel I lost you in the transfer, please let me know.

I plan to update my Autism Blog roll now that I've picked up some tricks while organizing myself. And I hope to clean up this site a little bit and make it "more unified" - something I learned at the SITS Bloggy Boot Camp. Something else I learned there, I can't do it all a once, so the changes will be slow. I hope you'll hang with me.


I also hope that Jonathan will start giving me material again soon. He's not been as creative, funny or as "Aspie" lately. The best that he's done recently was yelled through the main floor bathroom door, "I hate exploding poop!" Thanks for sharing, but it wasn't enough for a blog post.

Read more...

Supportive Blog Friends - Success; Attemp to be Snarky - Fail

Thank you for your wonderful and supportive comments on my last post. I was attempting to be snarky, not looking for an outpouring of encouragement. But I'll take it!


Just wanted to let you know that my husband did co-sign on the loan, so I did receive it. It's still annoying that I once bought two different houses and three cars on my own without any help. It is really sad that taking time out to give my kids a firm foundation doesn't bring any value to the market place. Sigh. But it is what it is.

* * * * * * * * *

Scott was out of town all week on a business trip. I dreaded the week alone as a single mom, especially anticipating Jonathan's homework battles during the week. Usually Scott and I divide and conquer. He takes Faith, the easy one.  I take Jonathan and sit down with him. I have to stop everything I'm doing and just sit at the table with Jonathan. My sole job is to say every five minutes, "Jonathan, sit down and do your homework." Forty minutes worth of homework takes about 90 to 120 minutes. Jonathan will get up to go to the bathroom, because his evening constitution is in the middle of homework. During those 10 or 20 minutes I call every five minutes while he's in the bathroom, "Jonathan, are you done yet?" When he's at the table (or underneath it), every five minutes, I point at his paper and say, "Jonathan, do the next problem."

Jonathan: I don't have homework this week because of MSAs. (Maryland State Assessments, which are tests to report on the teachers and schools ability to teach.)

Me: God is good!

Jonathan: God doesn't give MSAs.

Me: Yes, but Who is ultimately in control of MSAs?

Jonathan: Touché

Where doesn't he get things like "touché"? Anyway, God was indeed good. I didn't have to fight Jonathan all week to do homework. That saved me about 90 minutes of time and stress.

* * * * * * * * *

God knew what kind of week I'd have. Monday night I took my older son to an urgent care center. I called my parents, who live locally, to come watch Jonathan and Faith and get them to bed. Turns out Josh was okay, but the doctor did give him two weeks of "no sports." That lasted less than 24 hours before Joshua ignored doctor's orders.

* * * * * * * * * 

Tuesday night both Joshua and Jonathan had emotional and physical meltdowns. It got ugly. I called a good friend of the family to come over and intervene. However, Josh settled down enough on his own so I called my friend back and told him not to come over. Jonathan woke me up about four times in the middle of the early morning with stomach pains. I suspect the pains had more to do with Joshua's emotional meltdown than real sickness. (Regardless, we were both tired and dragging the next morning.)

* * * * * * * * *

Wednesday morning I forgot to give Jonathan his ADHD medication. It was apparent Wednesday afternoon. That night, we were supposed to have our weekly in home Bible Study; however,  one family had a family emergency, another family was sick, and Scott was out of town. I called my friend who was going to lead the group and told him he had the night off. And once again God was good to us. After several days of crisis, the family needed a quiet night of normal routines.

* * * * * * * * *

Thursday, morning marked 36 hours of no ADHD medication for Jonathan. It would've been funny, if it weren't so frustrating. He was back to being a sloth during the morning routine. He just stood and stared for long periods because he didn't remember what to do next. That night I had a networking function with local businesses. I was a little nervous about leaving Josh at home with his younger siblings after his emotional outburst earlier in the week. But everyone seemed to do well. Jonathan is hating school again. I think it has to do with the fact that he's been in testing all week AND the school moved his recess to the end of the day. Don't ask. The decision only makes sense to the school which made it. For Jonathan, it's too long without a break.

* * * * * * * * *

Friday morning I talked to the school VP about scheduling a break for Jonathan sometime late morning. She was very understanding and supportive. She promised to remedy it by Monday. Friday night, hubby came home late dinner time. Josh had a house full of his teenage friends to watch the Washington Capitols Ice Hockey game. Scott came in, put down his briefcase and luggage and immediately took me out for dinner. He took me to my favorite Mexican restaurant and ordered an eight ounce glass of white wine. Don't you just love a man who knows what his wife needs after a week of being a single parent? I know I'm spoiled.

Read more...

Stay At Home Mom Returning To Work -Reclaiming An Identity

I used to be a person with an identity. Now I'm not a person and my identity is tied to my  husband. Nothing brought this reality home faster than applying for a signature loan.

Let me back up. Before I married Scott a decade and a half ago, I was somebody. I had my own credit history. I owned my home. In fact, I had owned two different homes. I had an excellent job. I worked directly for a regional vice president of a Fortune 250 property and casualty insurance company. I walked into his impressive office suite with luxurious woods and leather. The secretary only stopped me if he already had someone in his office. I had a lot of quiet influence around the office and a little bit in the company (enough that a higher up executive "stepped down" because of my input).

Don't get me wrong. I love that job, but I did settle down into a life I enjoy here "almost at the end of the earth" as Jonathan calls our town. Prior to moving to the end of the earth, I'd lived in metropolitan areas such as San Antonio, TX; Northern Virginia; Hampton Roads, Virginia, and Honolulu, Hawaii!!!! When I first married Scott, our town had one stop light and a Burger King, which just opened. I remember sitting across from him at dinner one night and lamenting, "I just want some culture! A mall. A minor league sports game. A museum. A high school play. Something!"

Getting back to the transition between being a person and losing my identity....Like I said, I was in a management training track. My old boss told me he expected me to surpass him, and he's currently a VP in the same company. (I don't know if I believe him, but it's a nice thought.) I could get things done. I could get anything I wanted. As I said, I bought both my first and second homes on my own, without any co-signers or help. I could purchase a car without any trouble. In fact, I always had pre-approved finance for much higher than I ever actually purchased.

Recently, I started my own Limited Liability Corporation. I write for on-line studios and for pay. I'm currently writing proposals for two local non-profit organizations to publicize their services and events. I have about a half a dozen people who want me to call them about writing for their websites and businesses.

However, I'm finding myself at a point where I need to borrow some money to be able to "go to the next level." I can work for hours writing for on-line studios and bring in a few bucks, but I can't do anything else. I really desire to help small local businesses owners who don't have time to promote themselves. I have two "tag lines" for how I plan to deliver value to local businesses. The first is "It's Write For Local Business." The second is "Telling Local Stories One Business At A Time."

While my husband has been out of town, I've tried to get a signature loan on my own. I've been turned down by three banks. All three are willing to give me a loan as long as my husband or parents co-sign on a loan with me. I feel like a teenager again, like I haven't proven myself.

So if you are wondering why I'm not around, it is because I'll be forever bound to writing for on-line studios, for $15 for approximately three hours worth of work. At this rate I can pay for my Blackberry phone bill each month.

And, oh, BTW, just call me Mrs. Scott Howe.

Read more...

Jonathan and The Great Children's Shoe Adventure

Remember when I posted this story about Jonathan and buying shoes? Well, as life would have it, Jonathan needed new shoes.

* * * * * * * * *

Me: Jonathan, which would you prefer? Do you want to get shoes while daddy is at choir practice? Or do you want to wait until he can come with us?
Jonathan: Neither.
Me: That wasn't a choice. Your choice is daddy coming but going this afternoon or daddy not coming and going in a few minutes.
Jonathan: Can't you just draw my foot and get me a shoe?
Me: No. You're too picky about your shoes. I'm not spending $25 to $30 on shoes you aren't going to wear.
Jonathan: (grumbling) Now!
Me: Okay. Then get ready and meet me in the car.

* * * * * * * * *

Long story short, we didn't go that day. Car problems. So we went the next day to a local store. Normally we get his shoes at Kohl's because he loves the Tony Hawk brand. However, I took him to Target instead for a temporary pair. (A Kohl's is opening a new store in a month. It will only be 20 minutes away as opposed to 90. Yeah!!!). Scott and I decided to go immediately after church because Jonathan is already in the car and he has no choice but to come along.
Jonathan: Hey! Why didn't we turn to go home?
Scott: Because we are going to get you some new shoes.
Jonathan: No! I don't want to go. It's going to take an hour to drive there.
Me: It's going to take twenty minutes.
Jonathan: Then it's going to take an hour to get shoes!
Scott: It will take fifteen minutes, twenty tops.
Jonathan: Then it will take an hour to drive home!
Me: It will take the same twenty minutes to get home as it takes to get there. The whole thing will be less than an hour.

* * * * * * * * *

We arrive at the store. We stand in front of the shoes. I suggest he might need a size two now. I pick up the first size two I see.
Me: Here is a size two. What do you think?
Jonathan: Ya. Sure. Let's go home now.
Scott and I (look at each other and share that knowing chuckle) "Let's at least try it on to see if it fits first. Then let's look to see if there is a style you might prefer.
Jonathan: (disgruntled tone) Fine.

And so ends another great shopping adventure with Jonathan.

Read more...

Training and Support for Mommy Blogs - SITS

Thanks for all your encouragement and support for my one day boot camp in Baltimore, Maryland. If you have a chance I recommend staying at Pier 5 Hotel. It was a wonderful experience. I checked in about 4 pm Friday evening, had my car valet parked (the valet brought all my luggage up to my room), and received an invitation to come back down for Crabby Hour in the lobby.

This lovely and very entertaining lady showed us how to make Crab Crepes. Then we each were able to make and eat as many as we wanted. They were to die for! She also served a local beer called The Raven and chardonnay, all you could drink. See her Crabby Hat? We all were able to wear one doing the hour. Lots of people taking pictures of one another with these on our heads. She had a trivia contest asking questions about the hotel and Baltimore. One 30 something gentleman celebrating his birthday weekend with his wife cracked me up. He was on his smart phone looking up the answers. He was no dummy. When our hostess couldn't answer why Jousting was Maryland's state sport, he looked it up and told her that Maryland is the only state with an official state sport.

About 6:30 women began meeting in the lobby. Tiffany, the co-founder of the networking website for women called The Secret's In the Sauce (SITS), arranged for the hotel to have a room for dinner. I think about 30 women met for dinner. It was a great opportunity for networking with other women before the conference began. We all introduced ourselves and our blogs and passed out our business cards. It was fun to watch the reaction of some of the ladies when they met the blogger behind some of their favorite blogs. One sweet woman stood with her mouth gaping open as if she was meeting celebrities as each blogger stood and introduced herself.

The next morning the rest of the campers all gathered in a hotel meeting room. I loved the fact that Tiffany (and all the others who helped her organize the event) assigned everyone to move to a different table with each new topic. She also planned a few minutes before each presenter for the ladies to introduce themselves and their blogs. By the time I left, I probably met about half the women at the conference.

The thing that shocked me the most was just how many bloggers at the conference were extroverts. I don't know why I was surprised. If I thought about it with any kind of true analytical mind, I should've known bloggers would be extroverts. (My husband chastised me when I called him from the lobby Friday night wanting to cry. "Of course they are extroverts, they need that constant social interactions. That's why blogs, comments, Facebook, Texting and Twitters overwhelm me!" said my introverted husband.) I'm naturally an introvert. Any extrovert in me is purely me taking on my "journalist" persona. I force myself to walk up to strangers and introduce myself. If they are extroverts, they usually start asking me questions and I can relax. If they are introverts too, I just start asking them questions to draw them out.

The only "bad thing" (which is really my own personality issue and nothing to do with the conference) was I was overwhelmed by the extroverts in the rooms. I tend to be quiet. I tend to wait my turn to talk. I tend to think about what I'm going to say. Well, that doesn't work in a room of extroverts. You have to be loud (in order to be heard), you have to jump right in or you'll be left in the dust. When there is finally a break in the conversation, your thought or point is no longer relevant. However, the positive thing about being an introvert among extroverts is that if you just listen, you can pick up a lot of information.

I love the fact that Tiffany really seems cognizant of the fact some ladies would be overwhelmed by larger numbers of people and would have a hard time walking up to a table and sitting down. She constantly asked the participants to be aware of others around them and not to exclude them. She especially made this point to us 30 the night prior to the conference. She asked us to make sure the new 50 participants be greeted and invited in. Tiffany arranged the tables setting for everything so no one had to wonder where they could sit. She also started a Bloggy Boot Camp community website for people to start getting to know each other prior to arriving. And I loved that Tiffany often pleaded that she meet every participant during the weekend. How many "big bloggers" (5,000 plus followers) do this at their conferences?

The information was wonderful. The networking was wonderful. The hotel was wonderful. The business sponsors of the weekend were wonderful. So if you have a chance, I'd recommend you women attend (sorry my male friend bloggers) especially if you are more introverted. I hear the other bigger conferences are really hard to feel like you belong and to connect. Shhhhh! Don't tell my husband, but I'm planning on going to the conference in September in Philadelphia. There will be different topics and speakers, but a lot of the same participants, who'll I'll know better by then.

Read more...

I'm Going On A Bear Hunt....

...okay, not really. But I am going camping this weekend. It's called SITS Bloggy Boot camp. Some of you might be familiar with SITS (or The Secret Is in The Sauce) networking site for women bloggers.

They are holding a camp in Baltimore, Maryland Saturday. I'm driving up today. This is the kind of camping I love. I'm sleeping in a premier hotel, eating flounder stuffed with crab (I'm not eating this, because I don't like fish, but it is on the menu) and networking with women who love to blog! Nirvana here I some!

* * * * * * * * *

Ding, Ding, Ding! I'm listed in Top 100 Christian Women writers over at Internet Cafe. Wow, what an unexpected surprise. I'm in the top ten Caffeinated Blogs. "This is a high energy blog! Perhaps she is a mom to a dozen or a woman who is wearing many hats. Her energy and enthusiasm shine through on her blog." Thank you!! I'm so honored.

* * * * * * * * *

On a whim this week, I bought decorated donuts for the family for breakfast. They were so big and airy that I could hardly open my mouth wide enough to take a bite.

Faith: These are huge! Where did you get them?

Me: Giant

Faith: No wonder they are so big.

Me: I didn't get if for a split second. But then I had to laugh over the fact that I bought huge donuts from a store called Giant.

* * * * * * * * *

I'll see everyone again on Sunday evening! Hubby is away on a business trip so I'll revert to my night owl ways and possibly catch up on all my favorite blogs!

Read more...

Purple Man Returns

For all those new to this blog, let me answer a few of your burning questions.

First, "Just Because My Pickle Talks Doesn't Make Me An Idiot" is a phrase my son, Jonathan, used to say when he was a preschooler. He has Asperger's Syndrome, which is a high functioning form of autism. He has this diagnosis because he has issues with language and social skills.

No one knew what Jonathan was communicating with the above phrase. When I ask him now, he doesn't even know what he was saying back then. Our family is convinced that it was something profound...way beyond the average human being's ability to understand.

Second, Jonathan has been drawing a comic book character called "Purple Man" for close to five years now. Many, but not all people with Asperger's Syndrome, become experts in some area. Jonathan has become an expert in Purple Man. He dresses like Purple Man. He sketched out a Purple Man amusement park. He created a Purple Man Monopoly game, a Purple Man trading card game, and Purple Man Legos. He eats off a Purple Man plate he painted at a Paint 'N Pottery place. We had a drawing done of Jonathan dressed as Purple Man for the blog.

Purple Man wears a funky purple baseball cap with streamers down the back. He also wears a purple cape with black horizontal strips. According to Jonathan, Purple Man is so "awesome" he needs TWO sidekicks. So one is "Perfeckto," who looks like a black ninja and one is called "Purple" who is just like Purple Man but is only two inches tall and doesn't have a cape. Their nemeses are "Snakehair" (whose hair is a two-headed snake, one head by each of Snakehair's ears) and "Apple Man" (I don't know too much about Apple Man). Purple Man can fly and is strong. Perfeckto is fast. I don't know Purple's super power.

Without further ado, let me show you Jonathan's newest Purple Man comic strip.

Just in case you need a little help interrupting this: Purple Man is working out with his punching bag. Perfeckto (not seen) calls up "Package!" Purple Man says to bring it up, but Perfeckto declares his power is speed and not strength. Purple Man goes down to help. Purple Man says the package is light because it is only 200 tons. They open the package to discover it is 200 tons of tacos. They realize the tacos are for two inch tall Purple, and let him know that his tacos arrived.

This is funny to me, because Jonathan can put away six tacos easily. He's a picky eater and doesn't eat much, so six tacos is a lot for him to eat in one meal. And thinking about a 2 inch sidekick eating 2 tons of tacos makes me laugh.

Here is a link of Jonathan and his siblings acting out Purple Man, Perfeckto and Purple for a soap commercial for Lee, the Hotflash Queen's La Dee Dah soaps. This for those new to the blog. Others may or may not enjoy seeing it again.

Read more...

I'm Absolutely Gitty With Excitement

Travis, at I like to Fish, has invited me to come play in his pond today! I'm excited because Travis is allowing me to guest post on his blog. If you already follow him, you know that his followers become cult-like in their inability to leave or disobey him.

Imagine how thrilled I am to be noticed by The Man! I won't even hold it against him that he called me "ma'am". What am I, his mother? Okay, I admit that in theory it is possible that I could've conceived and given birth to him. I had the ability. However, I think at that time I still thought the act of making babies was thoroughly disgusting. So while it is possible, it is not probable that I conceived him. And for the record, Travy, you are only safe because because I'm angrier a woman asked if my daughter, Faith, was my granddaughter. (That's not even possible!)

Please come read my post. Travis is looking for blog domination. So please join his growing cult.

Read more...

Memoir Mondays - Don't Yell, I Can Hear You!

It's Monday! Like a brain-washed cult member, I'm dutifully obeying Travis and posting a true story, displaying his new button and inviting ya'll to join us. (Because he's from Oklahoma and I'm from Texas.)

The above picture is a typical sight for people with autism, at least those who have" hyper-sensitivity" (over sensitive) to noises. This picture happens to be at Disney World during the fireworks display. We have some funny stories about Jonathan and noises, which weren't funny at the time.

We first began understanding he didn't like noises when he was an infant. But a night at the local minor league baseball game made it clear. I have noise sensitivity myself, so I don't particularly like this baseball stadium because there is NOWHERE to get away from the overwhelming noise of the speakers. I had Jonathan with me. He was about four months old and wrapped up tight in his yellow blanket, but he still was crying inconsolably. He was miserable. I was miserable.

However, Joshua had won these tickets for reading a massive amount of books. He was looking forward to the fireworks after the game. So I walked Jonathan all over the place trying to find a spot that my ears weren't stressed. After awhile, Scott and Josh agreed to leave. Jonathan cried hard all the way home in the car (90 minutes) and for another hour or so after we got home. (Which if you have never been around a non-stop crying baby it is very stressful. Josh was sitting in the back seat with his baby brother crying, "Make him stop crying!" And Scott and I are white knuckled on the steering wheel just trying to get home.)

We knew without a doubt noises were a major issue for him. So much so that he hated leaving the house. After the diagnosis of autism we understood it was because we could not control the unexpected noises. We thought we could. But Jonathan was smarter than we were. He knew we couldn't control anything.

For example, Jonathan hated flushing toilets. I couldn't leave him outside in a public place when I went to the bathroom because he was so young. So I promised I wouldn't flush until he was standing by the door. It took awhile, but I talked him into the bathroom. What I didn't foresee was people flushing on either side of our stall. Whoops.

Here are other things I didn't foresee: The motorcycle besides us at the stoplight which decides to reeve it's engine. The muscle car which crosses two feet in front of us and decides to reeve it's engine. Turning on a blender at Starbucks. Start vacuuming at the end of the work day. The blowing industrial air conditioners at the grocery store. Fire alarms at school....Nope, we learned very fast about all the noises we can't control.


We bought him a pair of noise canceling headphones and a CD player at one of the specialist's suggestions. It was easier to get him out of the house after. Now he uses a MP3 player for the ride on the bus to and from school. And if we think about it, he'll bring it to other places he knows will be noisy.

Read more...